One More Day by Emma Heatherington

Author:Emma Heatherington [Heatherington, Emma]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollinsPublishers
Published: 2022-02-03T17:00:00+00:00

@mumoftwo_missing you

I didn’t see it coming, but then, neither did you or so you told me.

You had an emotional affair, and even though I begged you to tell me who she was, you played it down and begged my forgiveness until I finally let it go.

At least I pretended I did, but it ate me up inside. Who was she? Did you sleep with her? Even once? Did you?

I blamed how easy it is nowadays. I blamed mobile phones, I blamed the internet, I blamed our busy work schedules, and I blamed our money struggles. I blamed my attention on our two young children, but never once did I want to blame you.

Nothing happened between you two, you said. Nothing physical happened, anyhow. It was only conversation that had gone too far, you told me. She was just a friend. She was someone who listened when I was obsessed with what needed doing around the house, or about how we were going to meet the mortgage payments after topping up once more to renovate the barn. While I was nagging, after an exhausting day in school with pressures mounting in my newly promoted role, you found solace and escape in her ear, when you’d have her full attention with absolutely no sense of reality or responsibility.

She didn’t care that you hadn’t painted the shed like you said you would, or that we needed to somehow find an extra fifty quid a week to afford the childminder I wanted to move our children to. She didn’t care that we’d a burst pipe again, or a stroppy two-year-old who kept us up half the night when she couldn’t decide where she wanted to sleep.

You said you’d been foolish and silly, that you’d fallen for an ego boost and used it as an escape from the sometimes mundane daily drag of everyday married life. It was only words that meant nothing; it was only the need for attention – it was nothing important in the wider scheme of things.

Despite all that, I knew I had one thing she would never have, because she wasn’t me. Whoever she was, she wasn’t me! I knew that whatever did or didn’t happen with her, you’d never find someone else who could give you what I could give you in the long term, and that gave me strength to give you the benefit of the doubt.

I honestly believed you when you said you were sorry. Deep down I didn’t think you’d risk what we had. I believed you when you said it was nothing. I believed you when you said it would never happen again.

But it did happen again. And it wasn’t nothing! I found out all too late but I can never get the answers from you now, can I? It was something. It was something after all and it almost ruined me for good when I found out that on top of everything else! I hated you for it! I said I’d never do that to you, never!

And I never thought I would, or could.

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